On Pat Hickey and Theo Fleury.

- It's something that I really don't like talking about, and it's something that most people don't like hearing about, so I'll make it quick.

I was abused as a kid. And like most everybody to which this has happened, it fucked me up. I went through the gamut of emotions, both at the time and over the years since. Fear, shame, anger, confusion... It robbed me of my spirit and left me struggling with mental health issues to this day.

And like Theo Fleury, Sheldon Kennedy, and the thousands of other victims out there, I didn't go to the authorities immediately. In fact, I didn't tell anybody for about 25 years. Maybe I should have. I don't know. But I didn't.

I was about 11 or 12 when it happened, hardly an age at which I was equipped with the tools necessary to deal with this, so I simply withdrew. Like the vast majority of people who go through these kinds of things do.

I got a chance to deal with it somewhat over the years. It has obviously come up as a topic in therapy, and that has at least got me to the point where the fear, shame, and confusion have for the most part been put to rest. As for the anger, well, I guess it'll always be there.

Bumping into my abuser some 25 years after the fact, while in my hometown on holidays, proved weirdly therapeutic in my case. Because I wasn't a little kid anymore. I was a man. An angry man.

Getting to poke my finger in his chest and look him in the eye, and see the fear as I told him, just loud enough for those nearby to hear, «I could kick the living shit out of you right here, right now, and get away with it», gave me some measure of relief.

I sometimes wish I had at least taken one good swing. Knock him on his ass. But in the end I just tell myself that I'm the better man and there's no sense even getting into it.

- So it is from this perspective that I look at the kerfuffle that Pat Hickey has created surrounding a column he recently wrote in regards to Theo Fleury, Sheldon Kennedy, and Graham James.

In his column Mr. Hickey accuses Mr. Fleury of enabling Graham James in his pedophile activities by owning a junior hockey team with James as its coach.

This does raise an interesting question from a legal standpoint.

Let's say, for argument's sake, that I was a player on the Calgary Hitmen, and I was the victim of sexual abuse by Graham James. Would I have a case against Mr. Fleury? (I don't know if there were, or weren't any victims that fit this definition. I haven't followed the story that closely.) After all, he knew what James was like with young boys.

So in this sense, I guess I do understand what Mr. Hickey is saying about enabling. But that's not for he or I to deal with. I'm sure that if Theo Fleury got wind of any Hitmen players being victimized he would stand up and do what is right. That is the expectation.

The part of the column that bothers me the most is the way in which Mr. Hickey puts Mr. Fleury up against Sheldon Kennedy, another victim of Graham James during their years in junior hockey.

Mr. Hickey comes to the conclusion that, for reasons he expounded upon, somehow Mr. Kennedy is a better victim that Mr. Fleury. That's the part that offends me. A victim is a victim is a victim.

That Mr. Fleury blasted the legal system in a press conference following the release on bail of Graham James until his next appearance also seems to rub Mr. Hickey the wrong way. Well, Theo Fleury has an absolute right to speak his mind. It's his right both as a victim and as a citizen. Free speech. Just as it is Mr. Hickey's right to express his opinions, no matter if we think it's in bad taste.

Now, I don't know if Mr. Hickey should be fired or reprimanded by his employers, and quite frankly I don't really care either way. I can't say that I've been a great fan of his writing over the years, so he's leaving or staying is of little or no consequence to me as a sports media consumer.

I do however feel, that Mr. Hickey at the very least owes Mr. Fleury an apology. The column was very insensitive towards Mr. Fleury, a man who clearly has suffered deeply from the abuse suffered when just a boy. It was also disturbing to readers who have themselves been abused. At least it was to me.

Just apologize Mr. Hickey. It's what a man would do.